I decided I'm hanging a sign on the bathroom door: Her Royal Throne Room. It occured to me one day when I was sick and dizzy and I fell off my throne and got crowned by the bathtub. I knew I was truly a Queen when a circlet of bright red gleaming rubies started appearing around my head. Besides, I know that this is the only room I can truly rule in.
I got to thinking too that it's fitting because my robe is in there along with my magic mirror and the scales of justice. You really do have to listen carefully to what the magic mirror says. One time I went out after the mirror told me I was beautiful, and then I found out I missed the mark and had a huge streak of mascara on my cheek. I just know that magic mirror was laughing behind my back!
I have often felt that the scales of justice have been misnamed. Is it just and fair that it should point out that I shouldn't have had that extra piece of pie and ice cream? Is it fair that despite the magic mirror showing me showing a thinner waist that I actually weigh more than I look. Do NOT trust the scales of justice, I've found it can lie just as badly as the magic mirror!
What's nice about the throne room is that I can be myself, and quite cheeky if I want to be. I also rule over all the porcelain Gods that live within those walls. A few times I've actually bent over praying to the one porcelain God, but mostly I am busy giving it a clean environment so it can maintain it's gleaming personality. I'm fairly certain this must be where the phrase 'cleanliness is next to Godliness' came from. It doesn't realize though that real prayers can only go to the real God.
The throne room is the only place I can actually kick all my royal subjects out of. And I have many royal subjects who insist on following me wherever I go...er, that would be the 2 dogs and the cat, but I digress. I can truly relax there. No milk and honey baths, but I do let Calgon take me away because it does tend to bring out my bubbling personality. It's also a good room to be in when I first wake up because I know I can go there, talk to the mirror, and it will take away dragon breath by giving it the brush-off.
The other day I got to use the royal scepter. I knew I'd have to drag it out from it's place by the throne because the Prince of Hearts is only 8 and he forgot that he had a royal flush at hand.
Most people don't notice, but I do keep a few royal jewels in there too. One is a great book I got for Christmas appropriately called The Bathroom Reader, chock full of facts and trivia that every Queen should know. Most of the others are in a crystal bowl. I believe when it was presented to me a Jester referred to them as some kind of air freshener crystals, but I'm not positive on that. They're very pretty, a sparkly jade color. Up until then I didn't have a clue that jewels could have a pleasing aroma too.
All in all, I'd say it deserves the name of Throne Room. It has everything a Queen could ask for, and loyal subjects can always feel free to visit...preferably when I'm NOT there.
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